' just sit back and let me pour out my love letters '

, jeemmm.livejournal.com
I promise, that's my last one.
Save me there, please,
as I feel I won't be using this
thing much longer.

:)

happy eighth month, Daniel.

HOLY FADSFLKJFSN CRAP  . 

I hate being a girl sometimes.

I hate the painful twinges that come along
with being a girl.


This fuckingREAKING sucks. 

Science fuckingREAKING sucks.
I hate my teacher with a loathing passion.


i can't wait for tomorrow, babes



update : 21 : 20 

So my day went about it's normal schedule
with an extra added flavor of screaming,
and kicking, and temperamental responses..
all just mixed up somewhere in there. 

Hahaha, no really, you shoulda done what I did to my locker after science class.

I told you.
Don't challenge me when I'm on my time. HAHAHAHAHA

Dentist appointment plus going out with the fam to eat.

Came home and a nice messsage awaiting me from 
Daniel dearest, saying our time together has now been cut down 
at least 53425632 hours, because of inevitable circumstances. 
Of course, that's an overstatement, but still, you get my point.

Whatever. 

No, don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't care.
It's just that I don't wanna bring about any more anger or frustration right now
I'll deal with that later, when he gets back from TKD.

OH AND,
My mom told me there's a possibility that my dad 
might get accepted to a secure, high paying job....
..........In California.

So it's either he leaves us for a year.
Or we move there for a year.

I'm leaning towards the first option.
Call me coldhearted, or selfish.
But I'd rather lose the already dim bond between my dad and I
rather than the stronger than ever bonds I share
between other people.

Heart of stone ? 
I don't know. It's just my teenage instincts.
Watch, five years from now I'll regret writing this,
 

Gah, not a good day for me, today
Clearly, I'm not on top of my game.


BUUUUUUUUUUUT, 
there's Kalayaan the whole weekend to keep me busy.
I'm loooking forward to that.


VIVIAN, CALL ME !!!!!!! 
I needdddddddddddddddddaaaaa check things up witchu.

And so school just HAPPENS to close on our civies day.

But it's all good,
I was blessed with the opportunity to sleep in
in the middle of the week
Always a good thing

H a p p y V a l e n t i n e ' s D a y, E v e r y o n e. =)

Disturbing information yesterday.
Well, not really but it does contradict everything
I've believed in,
basically my whole life.
Yeah, that's gotta suck.

BUUUUUUUUUT, here goes.
Scientists have recently discovered the answer to the infamous: 
How and why do humans fall in love ?
or more importantly What is Love ?
Of course, as a strong believing Catholic, 
plus the fact that, I don't know, I like my fairy-tale beliefs
my whole meaning goes far more indepth..
...I don't know.
Science sucks.

Anyhow, they discovered that when we're in love, 
a chemical is released from our brain, called dopephin 
or whatever ( Hence the term, dope )
and its role is that when it's released
it puts us in some sort of, in the simplest terms possible,
HIGH, towards the thought of the other person. 

It's the same chemical used in drugs, blah blah. 
So drug addicts are addicted because they get more of this 
dopephin chemical. 
Furthermore,  a drug addict needs more, 
and more each time, because if you're familiar with drug addiction
you're not content w/ the same dose as before, and each dose
increases at a steady rate. 

Soooooo relatively, when you're in love,
infatuated, yeah whatever, you just want more and more and more.  
And when you're not getting more and more than before,
you get..somewhat.. 
I don't know... bored. 

Yeah. I dont know much more details
But , mhmm, that pretty much sums it all up

OH YEAH, and they did this test w/ a certain species of mice
it's a type of mouse that like.. most humans, stay with their partner 
after they mate > and they found out that this is because  of the dopephin
chemical that is permanently in their body, released after they mate. 

SOOOOO, what these people did was take away this chemical from their body,
and that resulted in these mice not knowing each other anymore.
Well, barely communicated.

Same goes for conscience, so they say.
This chemicals tell our nerves to behave 
the way it does, 
when we're making decisions, whatever.

So that's prettttty, pretty  darn sad.

In other words.
They're pretty much trying to say that....
...That's all there is to it.
No more mystery. 

And it completely contradicts religion.

I don't want to believe it.
I don't think I will.
It's enough to test faith.

But whatever, 
it's depresssing to some extent.
Disturbing in others. 

I don't know.
I refuse to believe it, as there's so many 
contradictions to it.

What about the concept of marriage?
And God is Love. 
and the everlasting Christ-like love we 
are to practice on a daily basis..?
and a whole bunch of other stuff.


Just some deep thoughts for ya. 

+++ TODAY WAS GOOD : )
I love drama class. HAHAHA :  )

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, DDAAMN IT.
I'm supposed to be at the E-rally right now,
... only I slept in until 1:30.
And it started at 1:00. 


Too much talking to Daniel & Marco last night.
HAHA, Marco gave up to my challenge.
Too bad for him. 

But stiilllllllllllllllllll, it's so sad,
I really wanted to go x 243435632.
I thought my parents were supposed to wake me up,
because they always do, on Sundays.
And they KNEW I had plans today.
=@

So yesterday was Shirley's " jam " 
But not really, a jam, because what ? only 9 people attended ? -_-;
Haha, Camille, Ariel and I had fun in her room 
and we got bored
so after a few hours of exploring her computer ....
Yeah, I shouldn't go any further.
Good talks/laughs with them too, about school, I guess
and other things. So, to make things short, 
yeah, I was grateful, so very grateful they were there =] 
to eat the fish filllet nuggets w/ me + to make me laugh 
+ to take pictures w/ + make the chillage there worthwhile.
Yeah and a group of other people came too, 
but they stayed downstairs.
It was fun.. to some extent.

Dad picked me up at 11, and we went to my Tito Eric's house,
so he can play poker w/ his friends,
and I stayed there until 1 or so,
and I was so bored, I'm not even joking, it was 
sucha waste of my time. I should've stayed at Shirley's,
but whatever.
So to call, my only outlet.
My best outlet....Marco Capone.
I knew he'd  be up ♥☺
And I was grateful. 
Showed him the riddle.
Yet, he gave up. HAHAHAHA. Spent a good 1 or 2 hours w/ him.
Then Daniel called during the carride home,
and I felt real bad, for not calling him when I was supposed to,
because I was too rushed when I got to Shirley's
and her time was an hour back. So I didn't call him, 
THINKING it was that time,
So once again, had these kinda talks.
Where I felt bad, and yeah, it was better in the end.
I let him sleep --- he needed it.

I watched Happy Gilmore, because I wasn't sleepy anymore.
Ate my dinner, then
I called Marco, to see if he solved the riddle, HAHA
but he didn't.
So I hung up after a few minutes, and left him 
to his porn. HAHA, faaaaaaaaaaaagboy. 


So here I am now
mad,
because I WANNA GO TO THE ERALLY.

I even painted my nails green @ Shirley's
because we were all supposed to wear GREEN today.
=@ =@